for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
