She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize
