I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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