The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
