At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
