i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
