Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
