dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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