im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
