she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
