you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
