we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
