tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
