She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
