You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize