Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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