I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
