my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
