We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
