Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize