that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
