You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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