im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
