i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
