New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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