Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
