If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
