Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
