i need an iv and a liver transplant
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
