I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
