you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
