i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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