i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
