I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
