I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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