By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
