I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize