Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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