birth control should be required to get into college
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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