drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize