But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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