i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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