He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
