I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
