an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
