CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
