She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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