Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
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