its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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