This girl is more easily done than said...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
