Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
