Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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