i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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