Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
