well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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