Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
