I accidentally burped into my bong.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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