For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
