It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
