Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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