I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
