Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
